We do not exist for the sake of someone else.
We exist for the sake of ourselves.
– Shunryu Suzuki
What is self-validation? Self-validation means accepting yourself as you are and understanding that you are capable of all the things in the world and that you deserve happiness!
Self-validation is amazing, and while some of us have mastered the art of self-validation, and there are a few of us who have some trouble really accepting it! Why? Because others’ judgments on our capabilities get into our heads and we accept their opinions over our own!
This is not our own fault. When we grow up, we have been told by people who influence us in many ways, that our drawing was that not good, or that our behavior is not appropriate, or that we are not good at anything! And even though this happened while we were kids, it stays with us when we grow up. These comments then become conditioned to us, and we just believe that we are not good at anything or that we do not deserve anything, until and unless someone comes and tells you!
Now receiving validation from external sources is not bad! It makes us feel good for sure, however, self-validation is more about complimenting yourself. It is about understanding your thoughts and emotions, and it strengthens your love for yourself as you are. In other words, it means that you do not crave external validation all the time, as you believe in yourself and you do not depend on others’ opinions or acceptance!
So, now how do we practice self-validation?
“Your self worth does not belong in the hands of others”
1. Gratitude Journal
Start a journal, and write down what you love about yourself and emphasize your accomplishment as time passes by. As you write down these affirmations, they will be internalized in your mind!
2. Repeat Affirmations
Probably one of the most popular and effective methods is to repeat affirmations to yourself every day. ‘I am strong’, ‘ I am capable of everything’, ‘ I deserve happiness’, etc. Tell yourself what others tell you!
Meditating and practicing mindfulness is key to restart fresh. Instead of looking at mistakes in the past or the uncertainty of the future, focus now on the present and appreciate who you are!
4. Change Your Inner Dialogue
If you always have negative thoughts about yourself, it is time to change that mindset. Pay attention to your inner dialogue and stop yourself anytime you have negative or degrading thoughts about yourself! Forgive yourself and praise yourself for accepting you as you are!
5. Love Yourself!
Give yourself a break when things get too overwhelming. Take some time off to love yourself and take care of yourself! Do what you love doing and just do it!
It is the little things in life that help us get closer to being more fulfilled!